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Obtaining a Ph.D. in the Psychology of ME!

Someone recently asked me, “What is the biggest life, career, health, or business challenge you have had to face and how did you overcome it?”

For me, it was my attempted suicide at 18 years old. At that time in my life, I was consumed with anger towards the women who I felt abandoned me. I was in a rage to make anyone who hurt me, feel the pain of me being gone.

How did I overcome it?

First, I was just lucky that the suicide attempt failed. Nothing but the grace of God kept me alive that day. I was filled with instant regret the moment I heard the gun click but didn’t fire. I realized at that moment that I didn’t want to die – I just didn’t know how to live with the pain I was feeling.

Second, I changed my self-image and what I believe about myself. I analyzed every moment of my life to understand why I made the decisions I’ve made up until that point. I started combing through my internal library of all the memories, stories and events from my past, and then determined what beliefs I created as a result of those memories, stories and experiences. Really, I was just trying to get a grasp on the kinds of thoughts I had, emotions I felt, and actions I took, to better understand the results I experienced up until that point at 18 years old.

Basically, I was getting a PhD in the Psychology of ME!

Once I had the knowledge and understanding of why I did the things I did in my past, I scoured the internet, online courses, programs, coaching, YouTube, anything to teach myself the tools and applications to apply to myself and change the limited thinking and being that I was up until that point.

This is how I changed my self-image. I challenged everything I had been told or believed from my childhood. I traced where the limiting beliefs came from and tried to find any alternative perspectives from the events in my past in order to change what I believed about myself. I was not stuck on trying to change what happened to me (because that’s impossible, it’s in the past!). I did not wish for the people around me to be different.

It was ME versus ME.

Once I got rid of all the old programming, I consciously recreated myself into who I wanted to BE. I decided how I wanted to see myself, how I wanted to be remembered in the world, what impact I was going to leave on this Earth, what qualities I want to embody, and the new values and beliefs I would adopt.

I am so grateful and blessed that my suicide attempt failed 20 years ago, because now I have the skills and the platform to get in front of the problem and help others before they get to that point where all hope is lost. If there is someone in your life who is going through challenging times, giving up on themselves, or is in a really dark place - please reach out ❤️

Below is a list of other resources for suicide prevention:

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